installment

give to me the required
the requisite imposition
i will ignore
the installment from you
which will be scrutinized
and met with the utter indifference
of my love for you

i no longer care enough
to engage
to admire
or to relate my feelings
of loving disdain
as i carry you forth
with me in this mind numbing existence

i love you as an exercise
of what i no longer am
and expect so much more
than you can possibly give or accept
as your installment
to this sick dance we crave
regarding you naught, my beautiful