Remember when you knew me

I swear there was a time
I knew your every thought
lying next to me
breathing

Expecting my chest,
your pillow
solitude
without concern

The dawn, irrelevant
another measure
of the time
wasted among the free

And then today

I hate that you hate me
covered in vines
together alone

Your kisses for others
stoke her hair
I told you it was fine

But words don’t help us
you promised
you lied

There was a time
I waited for you to choose
you did

The wine
an easy transition
from my collection

A cellar
built for you
and then today

Her solitude
enveloped by you
an opportunity

I told you so
you’re a natural
at my expense

You liar

and then there was the sea

timeless, I imagined you
on your way home
away from me
never looking back
towards the shore

standing alone, I waved for you
a solitary soul
awakening
to the sunless dawn
without you

a single wave struck my feet
signaling the end
of happiness
I had never known
cold and clear

a taste of salt upon my lip
knowing you were gone
and then a swell
not unlike the sea
between us

Venus

I once wished you
would love me
then I looked into the sky
and saw the darkness 
like your heart towards me
unlike Venus
Mine

dreaming aloud

pink and blue the colors
of my twilight
rest upon these eyes
once more
in unlasting splendor

sand and water crashing
the taste of you
salty sweet consumption
pressing me
in unlasting splendor

moon and stars in orbit
signal above
calling us to places
far removed
in this unlasting splendor

Mistral

this purple falls upon me
a veil upon my eyes
no longer seeing the grace
in you i flowered
rows of lavender
bruised by this mistral
wind, which left me
barren as if we never were

a flower to tread on

the evenings hasten
to steal the light from you
leaving you to curve forward
in search of life

you lean toward the path
upon the steps I take
so beautiful in your struggle
to reach me

a crisp wind pushes you back
swaying as you once did for me
our paths colliding again
in this underfoot serenade

empty

gray
ashen kettles of nothing
holding what we thought we were
looking, still
for the things that held us close
gone
leaving nothing but the search
for the the thing we never had...

tomorrow

forever a memory
the special event we left behind
gathered in the entropy of us

isn't it fine now
as the storm clouds consume us
gathered in the entropy of us

tomorrow we will never know
consumed by today
gathered in the the entropy of us...

Sunshine

tear me in ultraviolet hues
down to the soliloquy of you
ancient, ever-more
as if it mattered at all
a diatribe of nonsense
in the face of all that precedes you

sunless sunshine
cast in shadow and doubt
the remorseful end to a beginning
nurtured
without the earth
without the sky we adored

petals fall

don't you hear them
little petals hit the floor
whether torn away
or weathered
their sound you can't ignore

this one last step

from the shallow
to the deep
meeting the equator
all parallels in line
finally in tune in harmony
watching the ever-approaching bottom
arrive

no longer a sunrise
or a warm hand to hold me
this dirty hand slips
back into the earth
marked in granite
and the soft feel
of ash

never did i live so much
to extricate this pain
or feel the silent welling
of a voice no longer heard
eternity too short
and unforgiving
for me

this one last step
forever damning me
to remember to forget
the time i gave my soul
in the hope of a glimpse of me
in laughter
no more

how many ways

can i tell you nothing
in this vacuum i call home
leaving me spinning endlessly
circles once effortless
now always stopped by corners
unnavigable in acute angles
tangling me again
in myself

can i see yesterday
in tomorrows dawn
like concertina glistening
wishes torn away in flesh
left as the lone reminder
of my passing here
as the yield ignored entirely
by myself

never so peaceful

as this black night takes me
starless, brilliant, and clear
the crisp bite of this reality
daunting and all consuming
i leave you now

this cool dirt covers me
a warmth i never knew
as air escaped me
never so peaceful
these open eyes ever seeing

why cry the tears of the forgotten
when no one will remember
their saline dreams
as earth and sky become one
forever more

contrived

your words
shameless
contrived for no one
but deaf ears
the sorrow only yours
pathetic and meaningless
in your slow decline

this masked shadow of lies
consumes you
like your own truth
meant for you alone
without substance or content
of any reason
but to serve you

this manufactured sadness
hollow and deep
drags you under
beneath even you
shallow
as the shell you have become
meaningful to no one

everything temporary

this breeze
the front it shadowed
the hair it blew through
on its way to you

this memory
gone as if it never was
the mind a sieve
emptying

these words
like cobwebs
in the corner of a room
which stands no more

installment

give to me the required
the requisite imposition
i will ignore
the installment from you
which will be scrutinized
and met with the utter indifference
of my love for you

i no longer care enough
to engage
to admire
or to relate my feelings
of loving disdain
as i carry you forth
with me in this mind numbing existence

i love you as an exercise
of what i no longer am
and expect so much more
than you can possibly give or accept
as your installment
to this sick dance we crave
regarding you naught, my beautiful

Fortune Cookies*

these little sweet flowers
of long-standing tradition
individually wrapped
for you
hold the words
i can't bring you
without tears

they sit neatly stacked
on the counter waiting
to be opened and read
by you
to give you direction
i no longer have
without tears

i will keep them here for you
your collection to ponder
their meaning, their message
to you
in the hope they will guide you
like i once was able
without tears

* to Mallory

eclipse

darken me in phases
past the new and the full
surrounded
this halo shines
smearing the blackness
in obscure patterns
momentarily blinding
to these eyes which dared to look
hoping for something to see
and call my own
before your movement passes
leaving me shadows
evermore
as my only reminder
of you

the tear of the Human Condition

ten-fold it comes back to you
like a child to the home
once made so accommodating
now the bitter rise of its steps
leading nowhere
as the cinder and ash
crumble under
the pressing wait of the inevitable

what we become
no different than the rest
despite the years of practice
without deviation from the norm
in hope of self-preservation
to grace our every move
in this process we propose
as our everyday

ten-fold it comes back to you
the tear of the Human Condition
pulling us under
in its wake of normalcy
us clinging to the sides
of the vessel we mold
to hold us intact
in our porous demise